Friday = Fav day

I LOVE Fridays! They are my new favorite day of the week. I don't work on Fridays and get to spend the entire day with my little man. Yay!

Today we went over to Auntie Monica and Uncle Satish's house. After lunch, Brady helped Uncle Satish with his work.

"Don't worry Uncle...
I have prior work experience."

Then they relaxed a little...it is Friday after all!

Brady also got to meet Baxter. Baxter was super excited to see the little guy. His tongue is about the same width as Brady's face...I know this because that's how Baxter repeatedly welcomed him in to his home. :)

Baxter was even more excited to see that the little person came with toys! It took ever ounce of discipline that dog has (and some stern warnings from his mama) not to bat at the toy and run off with it.

"Please new little friend...
can I play with your toy?"

WHOO HOO!

To me, that's what it seems Brady is saying here. :)

Mass-a-fun @ Massanutten

We spent Memorial Day weekend with Aunt Kris and Uncle Joshua at Massanutten Resort. We've never been before and it was great! It is really beautiful and was only a 2 hour car ride. Brady spent it sleeping just like his mama...with his mouth wide open.

We arrived on late Saturday afternoon and it was soon Brady's bed time. As Brett was setting up the pack-n-play he says, "Uh, was this downstairs in the basement by any chance?" DOH! It was covered in mold on the inside due to the flood. I had no idea that mold could grow on plastic like that. ewww. Anyway so this gave Brett the opportunity to build Brady his very first fort (sort of). He took blankets and pillows and the sheet we had brought for Brady to roll around on and made him his bed for the weekend. If it weren't for his day care cold (to be expected, I suppose. It's his first.), I think he would have slept really well. If it weren't for both of us also having his day care cold, I think Brett might have slept really well too. He claimed I was "snoring like a freight train." whoops! :p

We drove around the resort on Sunday and took in some of the beautiful scenery.

Brady busted out the swimming trunks his friend Oliver gave to him and got to go swimming...in our own private pool with bubbles! (It really was a ginormous jacuzzi tub in the condo. It was huge and perfect for Brady's first "swim.")
It appears we may have a Nascar fan on our hands. Despite the fact that it was past his bedtime, Brady was very interested in watching his Daddy and Uncle Josh go around the go-cart track.

What a fun weekend!
Thanks Aunt Kris and Uncle Josh!

Little Prince in the King Bed

On the days that Brady wakes up a little too early, I feed him and then bring him in to our bed. He chatters away happily, smiles, giggles, and razzes for about 30 minutes. Then we give him his paci and he falls asleep. It appears Brady is like his Daddy and likes the sleep number bed too because he sleeps soundly usually for at least another hour or so. I always smile when I see him slumbering away because his little body looks funny in this huge bed. This morning I took a chance and took a few pictures of him...

and of course then he woke up. He's giving me the Heisman as he tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes. I have no idea why, but this next picture continue to load to blogger sideways...no matter what I do. I've spent way too much time trying to figure out how to fix this. So if you really want to see it, just turn your head. :)
Little sleepy boy.

Happy Camper

The little man is super happy today. When I picked him up from daycare, Jordan, one of Brady's little playmates, took my hand and said, "Come with me Brady's mommy. Your baby is happy!" lol! This was confirmed by the providers. They said, "Brady had a Great day today! He is so happy...I don't think I heard him cry at all." hmm, which of course got me thinking, "Well, was he crying for the past 3 days?" But of course, ignorance is bliss in this case. I'd rather they did as they did and say, "Brady did great! Of course there's a little adjustment period. But he is just fine." I'm glad they spare me any details. :) At any rate, his happy mood continued all night. I had walked to get him and he rode in the Bjorn and did his happy sighs all the way back home. He ate, took a 10 minute snooze, and just kept smiling, laughing, and playing until it was time to go to bed. It's neat to think that this little person already feels that some days are better than others. We all have our good days and good moods and the not-so-good days and not-so-good moods.

Again, I am fascinated as Brady exhibits qualities of a "real little person." I finally removed the sleep positioner from his crib a few weeks ago so now he has the freedom to roll and sleep however he wants to. I looked in on him tonight and he was on his side. It was so cute! He looks like a real little person. :)

5 months old

Happy Birthday Brady! There is not a 5 month wellness doctor's visit, so we again took our own completely unofficial (and with our goofy scale not very reliable!) stats this month. Brady seems to be much more aware of himself and his surroundings these days. All of the other "birthday pictures" we've taken have been relatively easy. I prop him up in the chair and make silly noises until he looks up. As you can see, this month's picture was a little bit more of a challenge. He kept grabbing the paper or trying to eat his hippo. lol! It sure was fun though!

Weight: 19 lbs. (Okay, there is no way this is correct. 5 lbs in one month? No way...but that's what the scale consistently said. Of course, he did have his late meal just before the weigh-in. At any rate, there is absolutely no credibility in this number. Guess we'll have to wait a month until Brady's 6 month wellness appointment to find out for sure.)
Height: almost 26 inches

"It Changes Your Life"

People always say "Having a child changes your life." And it does. Definitely for the better. Having yourself and your soul mate perfectly combined and personified in a little miracle is amazing!

There is a truly special bond and a remarkably intense love that develops during pregnancy and continues to grow every day. Each day I am in awe at how very much I love this little being. How can it be that I feel like the love continues to grow when it seems to already be at maximum capacity?! I am constantly asking him, "Do you know how very much you are loved?" He can't know. I myself do not know and am often startled at moments of realization. Right now I am having one of those realizing moments...and it's difficult to put in to words.

I'm working from home today b/c my network access still has not been reactivated. It is really odd to be in our home but have it feel so foreign due to Brady's absence. He is at daycare and I am surrounded by reminders of the little man that now rules this place: toys, pictures, baby books, bottles, etc. I miss him. But I love the fact that he, along with Brett, Sandy, Romey, and I are what really make this house our comfortable happy "right" home.

Lunch Date

Brady met up with his #1 gal, Kadyn for lunch today...really. They both had lunch...out. :) Brady had rice cereal and big girl KK had her little packed lunch. *sigh* They are growing up so fast and already have lunch dates! :p It's always so good to hang out with the Kalbs and now the little ones make it that much more fun! We neglected to take any posed photos of them together, but got a bunch of paparazzi shots. Well, I guess these were actually mamarazzi shots, as it was Soma and I taking them. :)

Kadyn is trying to decide if it's okay to share her Mommy with her pal.

Thanks Auntie Sathya for one of my favorite bibs!

Little Preppie

We all went to Lauren and Jeff's baby shower today. We had a great time eating yummy food and Brady again enjoyed visiting with his Auntie Michelle. We only took a few pictures today. Doh! I didn't even get one of the expectant parents or the fabulous hosts! We did get a nice family picture and since there are few pictures of all three of us, I was happy about that. Brady is wearing my most favorite outfit...a button down shirt and sweater vest from his Auntie Kavitha and Uncle Praveen (Thank you!). TOO cute!!!

Blessed

People always say God answers prayers, but the answer is not always the one you were expecting. My wonderful friends and family have been praying for me today. Boy did I need it! This morning was terrible. Just thinking about it now makes me cry all over again. I miss my boy. I know Brady is fine and in good care. It's me who is not fine. I'm the one with separation anxiety. One of the most painful reminders was looking back at the infant mirror and seeing an empty car seat base while driving in this morning. I am so used to seeing a happy baby, sometimes a furrowed-brow baby face, and sometimes even a purple tera dactyl back there. Honestly, I'd take the purple tera dactyl over the empty car seat base any day! I called Amanda (who also works for Booz Allen and who returned from maternity leave about 7 weeks ago) and it was good to just bawl with someone who completely understands. She assures me it gets easier...I don't know. :(

I wish stopping my tears was as easy as popping a paci in!

At any rate, I get in to work and am distracted immediately because I stop at my manager's office before even getting to mine. We wound up talking and catching up for 3 hours. It really was a nice distraction and I was professional and didn't cry at all! (lol, I sound like a pre-schooler) I felt very much like a fish out of water though. I was familiar with my surroundings, but just not comfortable. Funny thing: it was during my morning pumping session that I felt the first semblance of normalcy.

Okay, so back to my realization today that God is good and prayers were answered. At about 11:00 I received an urgent voice mail message from the ServPro representative. I've been stalking this lady for three days now in an attempt to get our molding basement on the road to recovery. The company has been unable to keep a schedule lately due to the long list of people with flood damage. They've been doing ad hoc appointments and calling spur of the moment. That was fine when I was home. Today it could have been a bit of a challenge. She was calling to ask if I still wanted them to come out. Yes! She says, "Good, the crew will be there in about a 1/2 hour." WHOA! I pack up my office and inform my manager that I'm unable to log on to the network anyway (my access has not been reactivated yet) so my plan was to go home, log on from there, and meet the crew. She is completely flexible and approves of my plan.

The entire way home, I'm realizing God has answered our prayers and He of course has a plan and it all works out. I thank God for the flexibility that my job offers...that the first day back I can leave after only being there for 4 hours and go home. I'm not home but 2 minutes when 4 ServPro vans pull up front. Wow! Good timing! As I'm answering questions and helping the crew move our personal items, I am again thankful for how things have worked out. If Brady hadn't been at daycare today, there's no way I could have done this. Now, it doesn't make me miss my little man any less, but I realize again that "everything happens for a reason." Thank you Lord! So my prayers lately have been that God help me work through this transition (okay really I was praying that we win the lottery so that I could just stay home with my baby). So the answer is not quite what I expected (yes, Tiffany you can stay home!), but I've realized that God answers prayers, He has a plan, and that we truly are blessed. I'm still not giving up on the lottery windfall prayer though! ;p

Now I'm sure one day we'll look back on the petri dish we call our basement and be able to identify why we were blessed with the flood and the good that came of it...

Okay, it's 4:30 and I'm more than ready to go get my boy!
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Update: pictures added. Yes, I was a total baby hog tonight. Poor Brett. I warned him though...I told him he wouldn't get to hold Brady tonight b/c he was all mine tonight and that I deserved it! :)

I ran (with the snap-and-go stroller to fit the car seat which we left at the daycare this morning) all the way to the daycare. I didn't want to drive b/c I didn't want to put Brady in his car seat and not see him and snuggle with him. Well I underestimated how cold it was- lol! So I wound up still having to put him in his car seat and stroller. But laughed, talked, and cried happily looking at him the whole (1/4 mile) way home. The daycare providers reported that he did really well and slept for 1 hour in the AM and 2 hours in the PM. Go figure! I get no more than 30-45 min. catnaps from him! Anyway, I snuggled and loved on that little boy all night. Now he's asleep and I miss him again. Good thing it's the weekend and we get two whole days all together!

D day

Well the day I've been dreading is here...I'm returning to work tomorrow and Brady is going to daycare. Those 9 hours tomorrow will be the longest I have been without him in over a year (if you count pregnancy) and in almost 5 months since he was born. I've been looking for the "sunny side up," as we call it, to help me get through this transition.

Some adult/two-sided conversation?
Some people have asked me "Don't you want to return to work for the adult/two-sided conversation?" Well I already have adult conversation with terrific friends whenever I want it...it's just a visit, a phone call, an email, a blog, and for lucky me, a house across the street and a house next door away! And here's the thing...the conversation topics are things we want to talk about (and often wind up laughing about). My networking targets have changed dramatically. I am no longer in awe at the thought of an interaction with a manager high up in the corporate chain. Instead I'm in awe of amazing mothers with beautiful happy sweet children and seek out interactions with them. They are the ones I want to "rub elbows" with and learn from. These accomplished women are the ones I want to mentor me and show me the "tricks of the trade." Additionally I also have two-sided conversations in the coos and gurgles of an almost 5-month old...these conversations we share are my most cherished.

Valued contributor?
I thought I might need to work to feel as if I am a "valued contributor." Well I have that in my work here at home. (and let's be honest here...when you are working as a government consultant, there are many days that you find yourself questioning the value of your contribution!) :p Right now as mothering is mostly physical, my sense of accomplishment is in feeling and seeing the smooth rolls of baby skin on those pudgy thighs, double chin, and chubby cheeks. It's in hearing the satisfaction and hunger satiation in the happy sighs of my baby boy content with nourishment from his mommy. It's in the smiles and belly laughs of a joyous little man. It's in the wide receptive eyes that are taking in the world as I narrate as much as possible to him. I am a valued contributor...this is the most important work I will ever do...and I Love it!

Work Wardrobe
Monica had a pretty good point. She asked me, "Well, are you excited about getting dressed and ready for work?" What Mon, do you not like the sweatpants and nursing tanks I have worn every day for 5 months??? :p Did I mention my proud mommy accessories of spit-up and drool? Seriously though, I've been so comfortable lately...no stiff suits and confining jackets, no pinching shoes, no need to think about what I'm going to wear and what accessories match. (spit-up and drool go with anything!) Sure it'll be fun to put on my suits again (for about 5 minutes). Then I'll be jonesin' for my sweats and welcoming the drool-accompanied snuggles.

New experiences for Brady
Okay, so I'll concede this one. I am happy that Brady is going to be exposed to all sorts of new fun. We were down at the daycare the other day going through some paperwork. I had Brady in the Bjorn and he began to fuss a little. I automatically started to get up and sway a little bit. But there was no need as he was quickly distracted by his friendly little classmates who danced and sang for him, talked to him, and helped him out by giving him his paci. These little people were so cute and Brady was fascinated by the live (pint-sized) entertainment. I know he'll have fun there and that does make me happy.
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Pictures from yesterday (May 14) and today (May 15):